Wowza

I can't believe it's been so long since I've written. Life has been insane the past few months! I have gone from exercising and running to lifting heavy weights and counting macros- best choice I've ever made, my body has transformed immensely since making the changes I have! I do minimal cardio and eat more often- my metabolism has sky rocketed! It's crazy where life takes us...since writing I have changed grade levels in teaching, I now have my own house, and I have a boyfriend! He's literally my other half- makes me want to be a better me, and I couldn't ask for anything better...I took struggles and looked them in the eye and have flourished!

Now back to health -- here is a photo of me exactly one year ago and a photo of me now. The picture on the left I weighed LESS then the photo of me on the right!!! But which looks healthier??? I have since hid my scale, the scale will kill your self esteem- I've learned that I am not defined by a number. 

My journey: I've fought with my own self worth, with my confidence and being happy with me for who I am for what seems like forever. Growing up I saw myself as the chubby ugly kid, I'd go home and cry wishing I looked like the pretty cute girls at school, dying to be noticed. In high school I was active but knew nothing about health- that's when I started slim fast- at the age of 16. I tried what seemed like every diet. When college hit I went through some tough stuff- I got strep and wasn't able to eat and lost 5-10lbs- and that's what started everything. I started to take in only 600-800 calories a day, and doing 1-2hours of cardio every day. I slept all the time and didn't want to do anything, I hid in my dorm,  I cried. I was sad. I hated the way I looked, I'd weigh myself then eat and if the number went up I'd throw it up. It consumed my entire life...if I wanted to taste something I'd taste it then spit it out. It took a swift kick in the butt to turn my thoughts off and become healthy to think in a healthy way. I no longer diet I simply count my macros so i can slowly allow myself to eat more and more!!! I eat around 2,100 calories a day! I lift weights and do 25 min of cardio only 5x a week. 

Now this hard time only lasted about a year, It was stupid decisions I made over 5 yrs ago and am past that. 

I have nothing to hide anymore. Life is too beautiful and I'm not ashamed of my past- my past made me stronger and showed me that dieting is inpractical and unhealthy! It's all about lifestyle! 

You can get past any struggle you face! Turn off any negative thoughts and fight hard- simply do what you know is best for you- what makes you happy!

Don't judge- don't judge those who are at the gym working hard, that may be their only escape, what makes them happy. Don't judge those at the gym giving their best- despite size, they're there and trying!!! We have all faced hard times- all that matters is how you handle them, how you get out of it. 

Be a fighter- you're worth it. You deserve to be happy, and I can honestly say I've never been happier then I am right now. You deserve so much- see that, see how beautiful and wonderful you are. Enjoy life, do what it is that makes you happy!

From my past to yours-'sianara past and hello to today!

-Jillyfish